The whole of last night, I tried not to be emotional n to get a hold on myself.. before i trigger any depression..I really do not want to start on the pills again.. It was hard..really hard..when I was crying in a corner of my bed, my heart cried with me..it's really hard not to cry..I tried my best..I ended up with puffy eyes this morning.
Honestly, I was not really in the mood for social gathering today after the sleepless torture..But I know I have to go, somehow somewhat..And indeed, i received a lot of surprises today.
1) My daddy (Godfather) told me he has been reading my blog diligently since what happened..I don't know about you, but I really didn't expect him to read it often at all! Firstly, he's a busy man with a lot of activities in his mind - work, RCIA, and even his house moving plan. Though he seems to be taking everything in its stride, but I know he's the 'details guy'. I don't know if he saw my 'Oh my gosh' face in the backseat of his car, I was really blessed and surprise.. Secondly, once reading some of my diary you'll know they seem to be talking about the similiar thing, I'm sure it wont take me long to 'switch to another channel', only return to read once in a while..
hmm...does it mean I have to be careful of what i'm writting here? Gosh, for goodness' sake, this IS my personal space..and he is my daddy, who IS entitled to know about me. What are you thinking, J?
(p/s: daddy,if u think i'm turning religious freak/wrong in my views, do let me know ok? and if you want to know more about my thoughts, just have a chat :) You know I'm open to you on everything)
2) It's really a eye-opener when I saw how 'pro' was my daddy in billiard. During lunch break, some of them had a game in the billiard room. You should see how accurate he is! I still do not believe that he has not been playing for ages. Seriously, he's THAT good! (And, I'm not saying this on my blog cos I know he's reading this! Don't believe? You can challenge him one day.) I cannot imagine those days when he could be one of those guys in pub/clubs spending so much time 'practising'..I know he is very fun-loving, but THAT fun-loving??
3) I cant express for all who joined the gathering today. But I, for one, really surprised to find myself enjoying VERY MUCH. Not because of the great hand-made food, but because of the fun, laughter and joy which did not seem to fill us up, since it started.. Everyone, I mean, EVERYONE,not matter how reserved they are in our usual Wednesday sessions, the participation level is great! Yes, maybe because the sponsors are really 'high' but the inquiriers (or shall I say 'catechumens' now) also joined in the 'high' fun. It really didn't feel like a planned gathering at all! We are just a bunch of crazy friends, playing those youngsters' games, making fools of ourselves (esp during charades!!), and we simply enjoy every moment of it! I also get to know more names to put onto the familiar faces I see each week. It's like a reunion gathering, rather than 'first' gathering..
4) The surprise of the surprises: After the end of the event, I ended up being the only catechumen in the group again. Trust me, it can be really stressing when the core team started to discuss about the RCIA process and their plans..It's really an honour to be 'part of the team' though I'm not even baptised yet. But such honour comes with responsibility as well. They kinda get used to have me being 'the only catechumen' in the group..so used that they nominated me for the Christmas party planning!!! (At this point, even my good brothers-John and David 'ousted' me out from their group..what good brothers!)
I must say I'm honoured, GREATLY honoured! Because in this process, there are a lot of 'rising stars' who getting active and open to be bonded..And their experience are a lot richer than mine. Plus, I've just adapted to my new lifestyle.. this really came as an HONOUR! Though my daddy commented that I should see it coming when I asked him to be my Godfather, well, honestly I really not expecting such honour. Responsibility to be a sponsor - yes; but honour to organise such activity - no.
Mentally I know it's no problem for me to organise such functions..afterall, my dear J, you're in Human Resource and had plenty of such welfare&recreation projects before..Such Christmas party should be a piece of cake for u, esp it's only 80-100pax! OK, that's what rationale is telling me..But I still have my personal concerns ok? I know myself - I'm quite a perfectionist in my work, especially so in event planning (afterall i'm from hotel & tourism industry). What if I cannot deliver my expectations? What if I cannot cope with the stress i'll give myself? Afterall,planning for company events the HR committee is 'expert' and it's our part of our ricebowl, for goodness sake...See, even right now, my mind is going racing with all the ideas and contemplation...
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OK people, help me out. If you know anywhere in Singapore is a good Christmas party place, for esti 100pax. I try not to entertain the conventional function room concepts, ok? Hope this year will be a innovative one, for all kids, young and matured. Haa.. Set the standard!
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