18 May 08 - Life is fragile

I wanted to share my revelation in church today, on this Trinity Sunday..But I've a stronger feeling to share what I've wanted to share this whole week...Life is fragile..

All of you do not know this - I have a really good 'sister' in Taiwan. We met in the company orientation camp, and we were close to each other, even though the camp was only 1week. Her name is Rose. She is a cheerful and strong girl.. In fact, he father had a sudden death just before she joined the company. She was very close to her father, and it really affected her alot..Yet, if she didn't share with me that night (she's also my roommate in the camp), I'd never had guessed it from her smile and laughter she's brought to the group. She is our 'Highness' because of her leadership and cheer to the group. (It was also 'timely' when we share such grief, cos that was the time when my dad had a sudden stroke while B and I were in a 'seperate and think twice' period.) I know I could never understand the grief of losing a parent permanently but I sure experienced the fear of losing one, and with no one to turn to. Her situation was worse, yet her smile and laughter filled our memories for this orientation. That is Rose, my dear sister..

Before I left for India, my good friend - Aries called to deliver a shocking bad news that Rose had died in April08. DEAD!? We were emailing each other some months ago, before she left the company. Had news that she's getting married and moving to US. How come that be possible? I really scolded Aries over the phone for such bad joke. It was till he emailed me the farewell speech for Rose' obituary, that the reality sinks in my mind. She is really dead..from a heart-attack. Such a young lady - 30 this year..gone so suddenly.. I cannot imagine how despair her mother is..a widow who has to lose her daughter now..within 2 yrs...I really don't know what to say when I think of her..

The disaster of China's earthquake made the headlines when I was in India. Honestly, watching those footages on CNN didn't impact me as much as Rose' death. But it certainly reinforced my 'enlightenment' that life is fragile..We as human beings, no matter how great, smart or successful we are, God's will is still above all. Who would expect that this is the day you'll lose your child forever by sending him to school? Who would expect this is your last day living?..I sympathise the magnitude of death toll in this earthquake, but what impact me is not the number but the pain of losing someone you know, let alone the love ones...suddenly and surely taken away from you..

Have you taken each day for granted? Taking assumption that the sun will rise again tomorrow, your life will still goes on, the people you know will still be around after tonight.. I know I have. Looking back at the natural disasters happening these days, together with the mutation of virus, I really feel so ashamed that I had been taking each sunrise as 'norm' and so blessed that I'm actually planned into this country, into this family. How big is this world, how many newborns each day - that I'm actually born here. Coincident? Sheer luck?? or pure genetic outcome??? then who created the genes and engineered the process of production? Whose great idea is it that sperm is to fertile and only 1 can make it through this process? .. Mother Nature? Then who created nature? Result of meteoriod collision? Then where does this meteoriod comes from? .. Honestly, I've given up asking such scientific questions now.. till someone can really answer all these questions with scientific evidents, without assumptions and hypothesis.. Even the great scientist of our time - Einstein said there is a greater being, after using all his life on science and logic. Has he gone bonkers? If so, why are we still keeping his brain as the smartest brain in the world?

Face it - life is indeed very fragile, and we are just beings on this world. Of course, i'm not saying we are 'puppets' but don't you agree there's Someone greater out there? Greater than us humans, greater than Universe itself. Maybe you'll join the others who say 'that's usual for those who went through bad tough times of their lives to say this'. True - I admit I learnt all these only after my 'trial' and experience. But are you so certain that you'll be able to stand unshaken, totally not affected, if you are the one going through trials? How can you be sure? Because you have always been independent? How independent? Are you able to turn water into wine with your words? Or command the sick to be healed? ... Very often, our independency can be quite deceiving. Wait till your 'independent' is put under test of fire, then you'll know the definition of independence..

Even our language and words are so limited to truly express how great this Being is. We can only say "He so loved the world"..'So loved the world'..do you really understand the 'so loved'? It's already so amazing how Holy Spirit can inspire the writer to record such greatness in such simple words..I guess He really must have 'no choice' cos if he tried to explain this greatness in its exact context, we will not be able to understand at all..What we know and what we have learnt are really so limited.. even too limited to explain how great God is..

That is also why we say Faith is a Mystery, a mystery because it is too simple and too great for our human minds to comprehend or imagine. The greatness of it cannot be grasped even as a abstract concept but only through experiencing it. How great is our God...