What a downpour this morning - I almost gave in to resting at home the whole day.. In the end, I ended up one of the sardines in MRT can. Though I'm late for official work-hr, but I simply took my leisure pace... enjoying the 'drift' of the morning crowd rush..
I'm still thinking about the issue on Love from yesterday.. Did I sound 'preaching' or spiritual? I hope not.. cos it's direct from my heart and thoughts, hope you'd understand anyway..
Couple of things I've to do as my counselling 'homework'..one of them is to set a goal for myself..Simple to you? I'm sure it is - everyone has a goal in mind for their daily lives..but not for someone who under depression..Like a baby, I am learning to get onto my knees to learn to crawl and walk. I know it sounds simple.. but every move of the process requires so much of me, as if i'm in a vicious battle. It's not easy, especially we do fall so many times while learning to move on.. Back to goal setting, I decided to commit myself to know God more (especially in my Bible reading and QT)..That's spiritual, and for my social, I want to learn guitar and Spanish..
Why spanish? Cos I've always like Spanish, but never have the determination to learn the language. Why not French or ..something more conversational? Firstly I'm against the idea of learning language becos of its economic value..To me, language is a reflection of society culture and history, which is so much valuable than $$ itself..And I've always like ancient language - Latin. Spanish is fragments of Latin as the full Latin language is so profound that it'll require years of language studies. So, I'm taking a 'shortcut' to understand bits of Latin.
Sounds like a lot of things to occupy my time, but I have to work it out with my counsellor..She's like my mental 'mother', helping me to priortise and tracking my progress..I really thank God that my case is assigned to her, when I was so desperately in need of professional support. She is ever so supportive and patient (I am always the impatient one on my recovery).
Looking back now..(gathering my courage to look back), I really don't understand why and how things could go so terribly 'out-of-plan'..But, I thank God for His blessings and guidance in this path..Have you heard of the story - "Footprints"? I really feel it in my heart and so thankful for Jesus who carried me through, even though I do not feel Him..Whether I like it or not, He just pick me up and carry me all through..How great Thou Art!
"There are times in your life where you see only 1 set of footprints, suggesting that you are alone in the walk. But no, My child, it was I who carried you when you couldn't walk, hence you only see 1 set of footprints."
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