I really thank God for what He had done for me,in me.. I cannot deny that God is with me..
But I began to wonder..what's next..you know,after all these 'miraculous' moments,reality still have to be put in place.. So I went to back to Adoration room again.. I don't know why but that is the place where I feel God is so tangible,something like the Holy of Holy..
I'm confused..I really don't know how to pray now..On one hand,I know I have to move on and let God be our Guide;whatever will be will be..But on another,something inside just keep holding on...Ya,I know you'll say "J,let go-it's over"..It's really easier said than done, you know..
Anyway,back to Adoration room,i don't know why but I cried again.. I thank Him for seeing me through..but now,somehow I'm fearful to come out,to move out.. I pray and pray hard that i'll keep my focus on God. I really don't know what will happen,just have to trust God who knows the desires of my heart. He is our Abba Father..
Somehow,I got my affirmation in the prayer meeting group. Special guest speaker-Father Lawrence shared with us Luke 24:13-31. This story is not the usual passage to preach,but it just touched my heart. 2 men were on a journey to a village from Jerusalem,talking about the miraculous event that Jesus of Nazareth has risen,yet they didn't recognise Jesus who came up and walked with them. Even when Jesus,who already knew what happened,asked them what was their topic,trying to get them to share with Him..they still didn't recognise Him.It was until Jesus acted as if he were going away,then the men urged him to stay with them. Because of their urge,Jesus stayed and opened their eyes when he broke the bread and gave thanks.
Am I like the men who knew about the wonderous work of God,yet not knowing God?Or now that I've experienced Him for past days,that my eyes are opened..In fact,He has never leave me or forsake me all these while.. I know even right now,after those 'high' moments,He is still with me.. And since He is with me,why am I in this confusion again? My spirit is so stirred..I just want to cry "Stay with me,Lord"..Whatever going to happen,I really don't know..But I really enjoy the Peace with God,nothing seems to matter when He's with me.. I cannot afford to lose sight of Him..
So,if you are reading this blog, esp Comment,Kim and Florence..Please keep me in your prayers..I really don't wish to wake up in fear and aching heart every morning..Pray that my focus will always on God-may my eyes fixed on Him..I've always believe there's power in prayers so I seek your prayers.. Thank you..
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3 comments:
Hey gal, hope that u are feeling better already. Of cos i will continue to uplift you in prayers. That's the least i can do. Just let me know your prayer requests yeah.
Ger, if you realised, the things that God has asked us to obey in the bible aren't easy. B'cos He knows that, He granted us the Holy Spirit (our Helper) to help us through our daily walk with Him. He knows that it is not easy, that's why He has granted us the strength to walk with Him.
Tonight i attended a church meeting. And God spoke to me these words which i think i should share with you.He was saying that for those who are broken hearted and needs healing, He has already pour forth His love to heal us and we just need to receive it. For those who are facing tought situation in life, He too has already given us His love and strength to overcome it. It has already done it. It is done and all we need to do is to believe that it has been done.
Hope this will encourage you. =)
Hi J,
I'm so happy to read abt your progress. I can feel that you'd lifted your burden (should say God lifted it from you) .. and now you are moving forward. Do not worry, just take the courage to take the 1st step, and you will start to walk again.
Even if you fall along the way .. pull yourself up and walk again. Nobody never fall ...
Well, I'll keep you in prayer ... and there is nothing much that I can leave for you .. just 1 of my favourite verses, which i learned in 1991 during my youth cell grp. (We were forced to memorise the verse before next bible study.)
1 Cor 10:13
No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.
Isn't this a beautiful promise from God? :) GOD BLESS YOU
yo gal, u will not only be in my prayers, u will also have my time if u just call lah.
it is really a very very tiny setback, so be brave to kick this little stone that is in your way ya!
we humans are all creatures of habits, the only reason that you are behaving this way is that you are fearful of the new future, the future without the usual routines you went through.
think it this way, remember this is not the only time you fell out of a relationship? so this shouldnt be something new and fearful. if you had walked successfully out of the previous relationships, you definitely can do this also. It is just the same as the 'new job', 'new class', 'new boss', 'new life without bf'...its the same.
you must know hor..we all have a hidden adventurous streak in us. Let this be another adventure, to venture out in this world like "indiana jones" to discover another heaven, to discover another challenge, to discover and conquer whatever lies infront of us.
Don't stay in your comfort zone. Venture out. Be brave. Be adventurous.
I emphasize again: "Its all in the mind."
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