Somehow I know God heard my prayers..I felt such peace and confidence when I went out from my room this morning..
I'm amazed by myself today..I actually able to go out alone,to meet my colleagues for lunch,with such peace in me. Of course,I do face some 'reminders' and 'missing' but I try to shield myself with prayer and look unto Jesus who is my Advocate... Anyway,there's nothing I can do to change the situation now..To you,it seems 'it's normal to go out alone' but this is really a big step for me.. You know, for past days, I won't dare to go out,unless I've someone accompanying or I'll just ask my dad to bring me to the destination,even to church.. My colleagues told me I look better now,and I know it's all God's work..Though it's been less than a week since I saw them, but the past days were really the longest days in my life.. I could not have gone through those days without God..I just hug them and thank them so much for their prayers..Their lunch invitation came in at just so right timing to bless me..
After lunch,I went back to Adoration room again (yes-again, I felt I had to). It's either my medication or God..I feel so calm about myself,the peace within me..Something tells me if B is for me,He'll make a way,despite whatever happened..just like my new position (fyi,I cried during my interview yet I got the offer)...God has planned it all and I just have to trust Him... Then it's either my medication is making me forgetful or God is helping me..all his hurtful words I don't remember anymore..I just know I've to move on and leave everything to God..If he's for me,God will make a way.. Just enjoy the friendship as now...
I know somehow i cannot bring myself to another relationship anymore..I'm too tired to 'try' to go through another...I've loved B with all my heart...
But look on the bright side - I'm beginning to move out of my situation now,learning to face and accept singlehood. Even my therapist is pleased with my progress - it can only be of God's works.
Thanks to be to God!
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