Feeling very upset now..
B finally replied to my hardening sms sent on Monday (the one which i told him i'll arrange his stuff to be couriered over)..he replied "Dun be silly.We're still friends and i can still pay u visits right? tonight u free for me to get the stuff?If not,can we arrange a day next week?Monday or thursday if u can.My stuff have been there long anough,not very nice occupying ur space.haha"
honestly, what is he thinking!? Cant he see i have my reasons for not wanting him to be around my family, my parents? I dun want to upset my parents, though i'd like to see him again. Yes-we might still be 'friends' to his definition; but friends come my house upon invitation! His invitation will come one day, but not now... I requested for his address in order to courier..
The sms continued and he's kinda persistent to get his stuff face-to-face with me (minus my parents). What a good reason - save money.. And he wants to pass me my stuff (my stuff? it's few items, of which only my Jap notebook matters to me).
I really dun like it when he keeps pushing me into this corner. in the end, i decided to tell him off by 'informing' him i'll be away and will contact him when i'm back (esp since he dun bother to follow my blog anyway)..
Then his ULTIMATE sms came - "where r u going n how long?Dun wanna drag this longer leh.Just wanna settle thing thing coz its been on my mind n its tiring to keep dragging" Can u feel the pain in my heart? I know what has to be done have to be done. But I've already proposed a DOMESTIC COURIER, why is he pushing me!?
In my totally upset mind, i shut him up with "U can courier to me since u'r in hurry.Btw,u've not given me ur adress.Thanks." What a political sms! I cant believe i actually sent it. But I am really really very very upset!!
Enough is enough - Stop hurting me when i'm trying to do something about it!
...he din reply..and i still don't know his address to arrange his courier...
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2 comments:
a cup so deep yet it has several tiny holes...no matter how u pour water in it, the holes, though tiny as they are, have been draining the water out..Very often, we do not bother by tiny hole. I mean, it's so tiny..how much water can it leak.. but when one tiny hole becomes 2 tiny holes and 2 become 3 etc..how draining it can be.. no matter how much water i pour in it, the leakage is flowing out strong.. but..what are these holes in my life? i dun understand..
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I need to tell you that this vision that you had is powerful and amazing. The holes can relate to some major disparities in anyone's life. These are mainly know as struggles. Some of the daily battle fellow brothers and sisters fight against include the 7 deadly sins, habitual and addictive sins, lack of self-love and unforgiveness which also opens the door to more sins such as reproach, brokenness, anger, etc. The list is not exhaustive.
In essence, what the holes mean is this : God is so good, pure and perfect in love and no one can serve 2 masters. We can go for daily mass, pray the rosary, serve multiple ministries, and seem to be happy on the outset. But as conscience pierces, is the interior-being truly happy and at peace, rested in God's grace? The vision that God gives is gently telling you he will mend these holes, the essence of your interior life but you have to allow him. His grace is enough for you, only if you let him. Some windows of your heart are still closed to him in certain difficult to let go areas. This is not exclusive, everyone has one too and its called the cross.
I am not sure if you understand what interior well-being means, so if you haven't got this book, dare I refer you to an important book such as "my daily bread" which is available in catholic bookstores. There are 2 battles every Christian must fight, the devil and one's own bodily flesh. Principally, we are concerned with the latter, to improve and live a better life.
I believe this vision will also help others, as we all have draining holes in our cups at certain points in life. Refer to 1 Cor 13.
CCC 1853 But in the heart also resides charity, the source of the good and pure works, which sin wounds.
Continue to keep up the good fight, and God is always with you to the end of time.
Anonymous, though i dunno who u r.. but i must, i really must, thank you for such strong encouragement.
Sometimes i just dun understand why my cross seems to be heavier...but i guess each weighs according to His calling n our response to Him..
We demostrate our faith in God n bring love&hope to people, n improve people's lives..Love people as God has loved them. I've always believe every action we take and decision we make is a seed that will one day produce a harvest in our life. By our actions on earth, we join the angels n saints in their spiritual war out there.
thanks,dear,i have subscribed daily bread too.I learnt that even if one dun use it as daily devotional,one day God will use it to speak to him/her..
Little booklet with Great Purpose..
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