this morning i read B's sms which i received last night(it came to my phone while i was writing my diary my notebook last night,i didnt want to let go of my diary)..the sms says he's surprised to see me too,didn't know what to say,n hope to catch up again..what a politically correct n polite message to a friend u bump into.. it hurts.. a person who know u so intimately yet has to use such formal social greetings? what is he thinking? does he not know that such formal greetings hurt the one who love him so dearly? i harden my heart n sent a political polite response..and inform him i'll find a way to return his stuff to him without having him to come over..
i remember how he came up to me when i returned from shanghai,how he said he had prayed about us,how he said 'this is the last time i'll take this path to come you house' and how he promised that he'll take care of me forever..i dun wan him to discredit his words..a man's words is his bond. Be it casually or seriously,the tongue hold the power of life n death. if one day,he'd to return..i pray God will make another way for him, for us..cos he had taken this path to return before,and his words had closed that door..May God open another path for us..
the return journey back to singapore was a challenge again..i dun even dare to look out of the windows,at the green fields cos it reminds me of my Tioman trip w B..we had a great time though it was a short trip..i really miss my darling..where is he? i cried on the bus again..i tried to fight my tears with God's Promises mp3,sleep and even tried to make myself focus on the cartoons channel in the coach. Anything that can keep me away from breaking down, from missing B..
i know i need to be back with my family asap,so i called my dad to pick me up from the coach drop-off point. when the reunion settled down at home,i keep hearing this song..Miracle of Time..a song which B n I inspired to pen it down during our dating period, in a music cafe,..and he composed into this really beautiful song..he sang to me on my birthday n i recorded it in my handphone.. this is OUR song..
i cant shake it off..the lyrics,the rhythym keeps singing itself in my heart...i miss B..i really do.. but i know i'll make a fool of myself again if i see him face-to-face.. God, i know it's a nice song but please make it stop before i slip into depression again..
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