2 Aug 08 - How long do You want to bottle my tears?

If u ask me how was my 1st day in KL, only 1 word - STRUGGLE.

I've been struggling with missing B in the coach,when i see couples on this trip,when the guys tried to lead the way for the girls,when we had to split into small groups to shop,when i was shopping,when i wanted someone to share my opinions n views on purchase.. i really miss B..

to make things worse,the shop right in front of my upgoing escalator is a Magic store. I ALMOST burst into tears on the spot! cos B is a fan of magic stuff. He's very interested in those stuff and always ended up getting those nagging from me on those con stuff. it's really like piercing a needle into my heart - so precise n painful.

where is B? was he like this when he was in Korea? will he think of me when he's shopping? does he remember there is someone who share so much of his taste and views, that she knows what's he's thinking before he could says? where is B? i really miss my darling.. darling, where are you?

Oh God, if You are hearing my cry in this night please have mercy on me, on our love. I really don't know if You're returning B to me, but i pray and i know You've Your plan and You're in control. Teach me Your will, show me Your plan, O Lord. Have mercy on me and turn to my prayers, to the cry of my heart. You alone know how is i long for my joy to be whole. Lord,please return my physical support to me. i cant walk this journey, do this ministry alone..where is my Adam when his rib bone is crying out for him? Lord, please return B to me..I really love love, no matter what he had done. I cant love him less..how long do You want to bottle my tears? How long, O Lord..