20 Feb 08 - God's Timing

Don't ask me why I suddenly back to blog again.. I really don't know.. Just feel "hey I should blog it" so I just back here again..

Today is the 2nd lesson in my RCIA faith journey. I cant help comparing this journey with the previous I had tried..It just so different..Not because of the different approach of Father's sharing, but because how the Word of God come to me. Previously, I was really not ready to go through the journey maybe because I'm not doing for God, but for man. But now, even though it's just the 2nd lesson, the Word has been speaking so direct to my heart as if this course is designed specially for me. Every sharing of verse is what I've been holding onto for past months. When I think of this, I cant help smiling at the wonder of God's timing...

I can even make friends easily in my RCIA class, even though I really just want to be alone. When God is at work and He wants to bless, no one can stop Him..really..Even a forced "hi" is the opening to receive God's blessings.

Looking back, God has shown me so many miracles and signs, even till a point I cried to my counsellor that I was going insane. Yet, I know I have to put my faith in God because He is so evidently at work in me. He knows I'm trying to be 'sane' and face the reality. He keeps sending me friends - friends I never expect to contact again..really.. Friends less than acquantance, yet God calls them back into my life to share their lives with me.

Of course, everyone share the same or similiar story. But the bottomline is God is real and faithful. Heaven and earth will pass away, but His Word will never pass away. He promised to be with us always, and He is always with us even when we are faithless. God has blessed and can take it away if He thinks it's not the right timing yet or it's not the best for us. Indeed, He will only give us the BEST because He loves us so much.

Trust me, it's easy to listen but it's challenge to act on it. But constant prayer and fasting do help. Not that I'm going freaky after being weak from fasting, but believe me there's power when you pray and fast. Fast, not on diet. Fast is a delibrate sacrifice of self-denial unto God, giving up what you like or usually do for God, seeking His intercession. A desire to meet God in a tangible way, not just in knowledge.

I pray for all who is reading my experience..It's really not a hoax. The pain was so real and the cries were so loud..I am really on depression medication. Yet, this is the time God reveals Himself to me so real that I nearly thought I'm insane. God will make a way when it seems to be no way. His Ways are higher than our ways, and His Plans are greater than our plans. God is Holy and God of All. Praise to God in the Highest!